Taking the plunge

 

Pattern For the English Woman's Weekly 29th November 2011

Less than 4 weeks to go... 

and I still haven't bought a single present!

So much for last years promise to myself not to leave it to the last minute this year!

I've opened an Etsy store.

My handspun yarns will slowly get listed as 

I work out what I have and get the time to take photos.

The LINK to the new Shop.

I've been setting myself some new goals.

One of which is to become a Successful Creative Fibre Artist.

I had to think about what my measure of success is.

I've decided it's money!

And as such I need to start making an effort to sell some of my yarns and creations.

If I fail, well I fail, there's nothing lost.

And I'm used to failing so it's not a new emotion to deal with.

But you never know I may just be successful.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Ho Ho Ho....

Ho Ho Ho..

There's 4 weeks to go!

Just in case you didn't know

A rather wobbly santa.

Pattern from the English Woman's Weekly 29 November 2011

Fit Your knits.

Another Craftsy course I'm enrolled in is Fit Your Knits.

One of the knits featured is Bad Penny by Stefanie Japel

 Bad Penny is a free pattern from Knitty.com

 I've altered the Bad Penny pattern to include waist and hip shaping.

Although the pattern is a little big in the shoulders for me,

I am happy with the fit of the waist and hip shaping.

I knitted the smallest size of this pattern,

I will knit it again but will reduce the size by casting on less stitches.

 I'm enjoying the Craftsy Course.

I've been binge eating again.

I still battle with the emotional eating.

Last night I baked some Afghan biscuits and

I knew when I was making them I was going to binge, 

but it didn't stop me!

I'm an emotional eater, 12 months ago I would of told you 

I'm fat because I eat too much and don't exercise. I just like eating.

I know now it's a lot more complicated than that.

You can like eating and not be obese.

My obesity came from emotional eating.

From not dealing with my feelings but eating them down.

From not saying and expressing how I feel.

I can see now if I don't change my parenting my children

may too be dealing with obesity.

I need to help my children to learn to express themselves emotionally.

I need to stop telling them how they should and should not feel.

I need to start telling them it's ok to feel angry.

When I'm angry and frustrated I eat my feelings.

The kids were noisy, arguing and fighting last Saturday.

I was feeling frustrated and angry and fed up.

I headed off to the supermarket to grab a few things for lunch.

While there I bought a large pack of Salt and Vinegar chips.

The thought pattern as I put those chips in the trolley was....

"Oh you've been so good, 

you deserve a treat, 

you can just have a few and put the rest on the table for the kids,

they are on special!"

Most of the chips were eaten by the time I got home.

I won't be going near the supermarket when I feel so angry and frustrated again.

When I started my journey to lose weight,

I never knew how much I'd learn about myself along the way.

When I started I was so focused on all I had to give up to lose the weight,

now I see how much more I have gained.

I may never get to the point where I don't battle the binge,

but being aware of my behaviours and the triggers for them 

gives me the ability to learn new coping skills.

Comments are turned back on

After cleaning out my email inbox of over 2000 emails!!
I have come to the conclusion that having comments turned back on may be a good idea.
I found emails in my inbox that readers have sent and I've not replied too because I hadn't realised they were there. Emails lost amongst the marketing emails and spam emails. I think I have been a little too free in signing up to all the FREE marketing emails, with all the FREE patterns and information.

Another example of information overload and how it gets in the way of being productive.

I'm going to start blocking and unsubscribing from many of the marketing ones, will be a work in progress!

If you have sent me an email of late and not heard back from me, expect a reply shortly!

It's all in my mind...

In the supermarket yesterday I was lined up at the checkouts. One of the other school mums stopped and smiled at the woman in front of me and started a conversation, she never acknowledged me! Seemed to look blankly at me as I smiled at her from behind the woman she was chatting to.

I was a little upset as I left the supermarket. Had I offended this woman? She normally smiles and says hi. We aren't friends, more nodding acquaintances.

I let myself stew on the incident for awhile, then it struck me, she probably hadn't recognized me! I haven't seen her for awhile. It's happened a couple of times now. Especially since my last hair cut and colour.

Makes me ponder how I sometimes create my own dramas, by making assumptions.

It's just not FAIR!

One of my children just loves to scream, "It's just not fair!"
Usually screamed at another sibling, or me, or just life as a whole.

Life really isn't fair.  Something I tell my kids often, a lesson they seem to be learning slowly.
Makes me ponder, why do many of us believe life should be fair?
Does it make us feel safe, by believing there is a set of fairness rules for life?


How my children deal with their perceived unfairness of life will be a test of their character and of my parenting.

I can finally see there are three ways I can deal with difficult moments in my life....

1. Rant, rave, scream. Make myself and everyone around me as miserable about the situation as possible.

2. Work to change the situation. Take inspiration from the adversity and make the most of it, as an opportunity to grow. Use it as the catalyst for change, that will make the world a better place.

3. Let go and move on.

I am much happier when I can accept that life is just not fair.

While I'm in a deep and meaningful mood....

I've discovered that:
I'm much happier when I'm not overwhelming myself with too much information.
I'm more creative when I'm not constantly on the net looking for inspiration.
When I focus on a few core things in my life,  I can achieve many things.
Simple doesn't mean easy. It's simple to lose weight eat less, exercise more... but is it easy?
Simple things are the most important things.

Hat, hat and more hats!

Sweetpea hat

 I spent a happy weekend working through the Craftsy Course

Learn to Knit Hats four ways.

Wheeler

 I really enjoyed the course.

Even though this course is aimed at beginners 

there were still a few little tricks I learned.

There are 3 hat patterns included in the Course Materials.

I enjoyed knitting along with Stefanie Japel

Sweet Pea again

 I tried a couple of new to me ways of knitting hats.

I'd never knit in the round with one long circular needle before.

I still prefer the short circular and will mostly use my new found skills 

for decreasing the tops of hats instead of Double Pointed needles

Rosie

 The course covered a lot about design of hats.

And I feel pretty confident now in designing a few of my own hats.

You may see one or two new hat designs popping up on the blog in the near future.

If you are interested in doing the course,

check out the discount you get if you enroll in the FREE shrug workshop.

I need to knit a couple more of the shrugs in cotton.

They'll be handy in keeping the sun off my shoulders as I walk down to the pool.

You're worse than a reformed smoker!

I had a huge chuckle when Pete threw at me today..."You're worse than a reformed smoker!!"

He's right you know!

I just want to shake some people and tell 'em.

"Wake up! You're killing yourself!"
"You are beautiful, you are worthy, you need to love yourself!"
" You deserve to be here for as long as you can."
"The world needs you!"

I walked past a beautiful, tender young mother in the shopping mall the other day. She was cuddling and kissing her child. The love just radiated from her. And she was morbidly obese. And I felt so sad for her, sad for all she may miss out on. Sad for the example she unwillingly is setting for her child.

I am going to keep this weight off. I have too, I have seven beautiful children to raise. I tell myself it would be wrong for me, not do everything in my power to ensure I am the healthiest I can be, to live as long as I can, to be the mother they need me to be. That is my motivation, it's also the stick I hit myself with when I think it's all too hard.

One-skein knit shrug

I've been getting emails with offers for joining Craftsy.

I've ignored them mostly, then I took a little peak 

and found they had a FREE workshop with Stefanie Japel

 One-Skein Knit Shrug

The pattern is free with the workshop.

I really enjoyed the workshop and ended up buying a couple of the courses.

psst...Size 9 Jeans west jeans ;-)

 I knitted my shrug in my handspun yarn.

The shrug is easy to knit and can be varied easily.

I will be knitting a few more of these little shrugs.

I've discovered that swimming is like riding a bike,

once you know how to do it you can remember how to years later!

After 20 plus years of not going anywhere near a swimsuit I'm now swimming laps!

I'm remembering how much I loved swimming as a kid and the skills are returning.

I'm getting better technique, endurance and speed every session.

As a kid I was in Surf Life Savers and spent many hours in the pool training.

I grew up on the beach and even used to surf!!

Over the years I had forgotten how much I loved to be physically active.

I used to think my weight wasn't a problem, it never stopped me doing what I wanted to do.

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed being active.

I'm turning 45 in a few weeks!

And for my birthday I'm hoping to get an underwater MP3 player.

handspun and knit socks.

It's been a while since I made socks.

My stash of handspun is getting out of hand so time to get some knitting done.

 I spun the yarn from a Lucinvale fleece, I dyed with Earth Palette dyes.

It's not a particularly soft fibre so will wear well for socks.

 I'm not a snob with fibres or fabrics.

I've been working with fibres and fabrics long enough to know they all have their place.

I like a fibre with a little strength for bags, socks and hats, things that need to take hard wear.

I like soft fibers for scarfs, cowls and things to cuddle into.

 Hand knit socks are just so nice,

I knit them to fit my feet perfectly.

I can make them delicate and pretty or practical and hard wearing.

I can make them soft and snuggly for indoor wear 

or tough and practical for hiking up a mountain.

Since losing the weight my feet now fit into lots of pretty shoes!

I now have a shoe fetish.