Dory

 It’s very weird how we or is that I experience time.

This blog was last posted to over 10 years ago and yet those years looking back flew by. The blog documents my family life with young children. Now they are grown and three have flown the nest.

In that 10 years, I started and ran a yarn shop through Covid and then found myself unexpectedly retired with a stash of crafting materials that fill a shipping container. 

I’ve changed a lot over those years but also not. I don’t feel any older or more mature inside. The outside is wearing. The hips and ankles are stiff but fortunately not sore. 

I’m approaching 60 years old and have still not grown up. I still struggle to make sense of a world that never will make sense. The world is predictably unpredictable. Take for instance wars and conflict it’s very predictable that there will be some but in many cases unpredictable when they will turn vicious. People similarly, it’s predictable we will have conflicts in relationships but unpredictable when they will destroy friendships. 

At 60 I would have thought I knew to give up trying to make any sense of the senseless. Maybe that’s because I am insane and as someone famously said, insanity is repeating the same actions expecting a different outcome.

So like Dory the fish in the film Nemo suggests, I just need to keep swimming. Around and around my small life but unlike Dory I’m plagued by thoughts of the past and future and haven’t learned her amazing skill of remaining in the present.