Fit Your knits.

Another Craftsy course I'm enrolled in is Fit Your Knits.

One of the knits featured is Bad Penny by Stefanie Japel

 Bad Penny is a free pattern from Knitty.com

 I've altered the Bad Penny pattern to include waist and hip shaping.

Although the pattern is a little big in the shoulders for me,

I am happy with the fit of the waist and hip shaping.

I knitted the smallest size of this pattern,

I will knit it again but will reduce the size by casting on less stitches.

 I'm enjoying the Craftsy Course.

I've been binge eating again.

I still battle with the emotional eating.

Last night I baked some Afghan biscuits and

I knew when I was making them I was going to binge, 

but it didn't stop me!

I'm an emotional eater, 12 months ago I would of told you 

I'm fat because I eat too much and don't exercise. I just like eating.

I know now it's a lot more complicated than that.

You can like eating and not be obese.

My obesity came from emotional eating.

From not dealing with my feelings but eating them down.

From not saying and expressing how I feel.

I can see now if I don't change my parenting my children

may too be dealing with obesity.

I need to help my children to learn to express themselves emotionally.

I need to stop telling them how they should and should not feel.

I need to start telling them it's ok to feel angry.

When I'm angry and frustrated I eat my feelings.

The kids were noisy, arguing and fighting last Saturday.

I was feeling frustrated and angry and fed up.

I headed off to the supermarket to grab a few things for lunch.

While there I bought a large pack of Salt and Vinegar chips.

The thought pattern as I put those chips in the trolley was....

"Oh you've been so good, 

you deserve a treat, 

you can just have a few and put the rest on the table for the kids,

they are on special!"

Most of the chips were eaten by the time I got home.

I won't be going near the supermarket when I feel so angry and frustrated again.

When I started my journey to lose weight,

I never knew how much I'd learn about myself along the way.

When I started I was so focused on all I had to give up to lose the weight,

now I see how much more I have gained.

I may never get to the point where I don't battle the binge,

but being aware of my behaviours and the triggers for them 

gives me the ability to learn new coping skills.