Today has been one of those days.
One of those days when everyone seems to be yelling, screaming and fighting.
The kids were sent to clean up their rooms.
They argued and fought over every task that needed doing.
There were tears and tantrums.
And lots of dobbing.
And four hours later!!
Their rooms were still not clean.
Pete and I were busy cleaning up too.
I was tired of constantly playing umpire and dealing with the avoidance behaviour.
All the fighting and arguing is really just avoidance of doing what they needed to do.
Maybe the kids figure if they fight and argue enough they will eventually get out of cleaning their rooms?
That in despair we'll give in and let them get out of doing what needs done?
And maybe that tactic has worked in the past?
In days when I don't have the emotional fortitude to push until the job is done.
We removed the Wii from their room.
We took the DSs off them.
I walked in with a garbage bag and threatened them I would load it up with all the toys they weren't putting away and walk them across the road to the Vinnie's bin.
Nothing was working today, probably because the kids knew I wouldn't follow through with any of my threats!
As a teacher I know that empty threats don't work but the parent in me has to try!
Knowing and doing are two very different things.
So in a desperate attempt I tried a new tactic.
I ordered everyone into the lounge.
Sat them down like they were in a classroom and started to talk to them.
I gave them my talk on the attitude of gratitude.
I told them that daddy and I were failing as parents we had spoiled them .
That the way they treated their possession told us this.
That they didn't value what they had because they have too much.
I asked them if they only had one toy wouldn't they look after it better?
Wouldn't they value that one toy so much more than they value all that they have.
I pointed out there are many children who don't have as much as they do.
And that they should be grateful for what they do have.
They need an attitude of gratitude.
Instead of whining about the toys they need to put away,
maybe they need to be grateful they have toys to put away?
Instead of arguing when told to do the dishes,
maybe they should be grateful they've had something to eat?
After my lecture the kids went back and cleaned their rooms.
There were still fights and aguments but the rooms were finally clean.
Might of had something to do with me refusing to cook dinner until the rooms were done?
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| My new hair colour! |
But it all got me thinking it's not just the kids who need an attitude adjustment around here.
I too need to start being grateful for a few things.
Seven beautiful, healthy and mostly happy kids.
(that they are healthy enough to fight with one another!)
A roof over our heads
(that the bank trusts us enough to pay back the money we borrowed for)
The husband who loves me
(that deserts me every Saturday to play golf, because he is fit and healthy enough to!)
The toilet that needs cleaning constantly.
(it works!)
The body I have.
(that is 26kg overweight, it birthed 7 babies beautifully and is fit enough for me to do what I want to do)
I'd be a lot happier if I could foster an attitude of gratitude a little more often.
I think this new year to come my focus will be on developing an attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude - Wiki
16 comments:
Gorgeous post Tracy! Good to know its not just my kids who can act like animals sometimes. Great to hear you turn the whole thing into a positive too. I hope today is a happy fightfree one at your place and mine.
Tracy, you made me cry! I SO need to work more on that attitude of gratitude - I'm trying, but some days it is hard yakka! Lara
Thanks for reminding me of all the wonderful things I have Tracy.
Lovely post Tracy. I love how honest you are and the beautiful way in which you are able to translate your thoughts onto this blog. I think this is something we all need reminding of regularly. I certainly do.
What a beautiful post Tracy - it brought me to tears. Thank you so much!! You are a wonderful mum and a gorgeous lady :)
Such a lovely post Tracy. Thank you for the reminder of what we have to be grateful for.
You are so right Tracy. It's so easy to forget all of the good things that we have. It is important to be grateful for all of these wonderful things. I think I need to have that chat with my children!
What a great blog post Tracy!!! All so true. I must remember to be grateful too :)
I think being thankful is one of the best attitudes we can have and model. Sometimes as teachers we forget to thank children who do things for us...we forget to model gratitude and it nicks me off how people no longer write thank you notes for wedding gifts etc or ever send a thank you after a meal or a visit, or bring something...even one beautiful rose when they go somewhere. I took on to the doc one day and it gave joy to the receptionist and those in the surgery....it was not hard, it did not hurt me. But we forget to focus on that attitude.
I like to also think that we thank God for the answer the moment we finish asking, because He will answer and it will be the best answer according to His knowledge of what is best for us. So we can always be thankful.
I love what you did with the kids...they copy what they see and hear. Go Mum...and I love the hair color.
Amen to that! The word that keeps repeating in my head at the moment is "surrender". To acknowledge there are things I can't change and that it's not my business to change them anyway. To make the very most of everything I'm given. To not try to control everything in my life.
Can I copy your speech when I chat to mine Tracy? I do threaten (daily) to take their toys and pack them up for other kids who might want them if the toys are mistreated or left out when they should be packed up. (and my kids do take me seriously on that threat...I wonder how long till they call my bluff cos then I'd get stubborn and have to follow though!) Beautiful post.
Beautiful post Tracy and did you know you have just described exactly what my Pollyanna Journals have been created to achieve.
A good moto for the new year Tracy. An attitude of grattitude.
Oh yes, i'm pretty lucky but when they do fall to pieces & disagree, i explain how is hurts me, to hear my gorgeous children mean, as my husband & i don't set that example. We're a loving peaceful family & i explain to them how lovely & happy they can choose their lives to be if they calm down & be more considerate. That works, you can reason with girls quite well. As my world is handmade & my husband goes off to war, we are constantly showing gratitude & appreciation. Best of all, time for our children. Love Posie
Tracy that would have to be my favourite post for 2010. So true, and I felt your pain, frustration, and disappointment. Bravo to you!
I need to take a leaf out of your book Tracy!
As Clo has said-Bravo!
Happy New Year to you
and I love the new 'do' :D
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